Rise Again
by kara1990
Summary: Its been a year since Edward left Bella , her heart has never healed , only broken beyond repair , so Bella fools her family and Jacob into thinking she s killed herself and heads to Volterra to have them do the job for her. But what happens when she arrives is far from what she expected , it will turn her life upside down and the Volturi will never be the same ...
1. Chapter 1

I sat gazing out of the window , drinking in the scenery whipping past , savouring the last real glimpse of the world I would see. Before long everything would be over , and I would have blessed silence from my tormented thoughts...

chapter one.

As I stepped off the plane I already felt lighter , id finally made my decision. By now Charlie would have found the note I left for him , and I assume Jacob would have too , i felt bad for hurting them , making them feel like they had failed me , especially Jacob , he had really thought i was getting better this past year. They would both be racing to the LaPush Cliffs hoping to stop me , they would see my beloved truck abandoned at the side of the road , find another hastily scribbled note , and a pair of shoes at the edge of the cliff , and i assume eventually they will find my favourite jacket floating in the water below. It was the only way i could do this now , to make them think i was already dead. It didn't make much difference , i soon would be.

The sun was hot and i was instantly uncomfortable , but i spotted the coach waiting on the other side of the road from the Pisa international airport and jogged over to it , i didn't need to stow any luggage in the undercarriage , all i had brought was a rucksack with a few changes of clothes and essentials for personal hygiene. I hadn`t seen the point in bringing more.  
I closed my eyes as the coach set off , it would take around an hour and a half to reach our destination including stops for services , might as well catch up on some sleep if i could.

I awoke with a jerk , tears in my eyes , same old dream , same old feeling of loss and confusion , He`d left me , without a second thought they all had , just upped and left me behind like an old forgotten toy. All that was left inside of me where my heart should be was a black hole , timeless , empty and slowly eating away at the rest of me , i feel no love for him anymore , this past year had seen to that. All i felt now was pain , constant pain.I was sick of it , i wanted it to stop , which was why i was here , my eyes landed on the sight i had been waiting to see. The tallest tower was now visable , the stonework looking warm and inviting in the sun , i smiled a small smile to myself , this was it . this was where it will all end.  
Volterra.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two.

I didn't even feel nervous as I joined the tour group which would take me around the castle. Just worried I wouldn't find one of the leaders , Aro , Caius and Marcus , I`d seen pictures of them , I hoped id be able to spot them easily.  
The castle itself was magnificent , the tour guide ( Heidi? it sounded like that) was telling us about how many room it had , far too many in my opinion , I was much more interested in the library we where going to visit next , the way Heidi had described it a few moments ago had sparked a tiny ember of excitement in me , something I thought I would never feel again. The little Spanish woman next to me was gibbering something in her native language. I couldn't understand her , but she kept grabbing my hand and repeating "de que sea demasiado tarde ahora, Señor, ayúdame, es demasiado tarde ahora" over and over. I moved away from her , I wanted to see the library , we were getting closer to it now , I could see the doors at the end of the hallway , they were huge ornate carved wooden ones , I just knew they would be heavy.  
Heidi stopped just outside them "Well then group , this is the Library , one more stop after this one and our tour will have ended , please take your time to look around , we have some quite rare volumes in here. Please refrain from touching anything which has a sign next to it asking you not to , some items are personal to the members of the Voluri family and others are extremely delicate , now if you could follow me please" , And with that she pushed against those heavy doors and they opened easily , allowing me to enter into the most magnificent room I had ever seen.  
It was huge , walls covered floor to ceiling in bookshelves bursting with books , ladders were placed periodically around the room , the bookcases were all made out of a dark wood , mahogany perhaps , there were high backed seats placed around the room , even a few love seats , all in the same dark red leather and dark wooden finish , tables were also scattered around the room , some with piles of books on them , others with just one book in a protective glass case , there was an area I could just see on the other side of the room filled with scrolls carefully numbered into pigeon holes. The whole place was lit by candle light or dim lamps , most of the light spilled out from the huge marble fireplace in the centre of the room. I smiled , the first proper smile since They left , I loved this room , it was perfect , beautiful , inviting , everything I needed right now to relax.  
People started moving around me , heading towards the seats to sit down and relax , only a few went to look at the bookcases and those where the cases holding the more modern books. I headed to the section which seemed to house most of the 1800`s literature and proceeded to browse , I could see all my favourite authors , Mark Twain , Leo Tolstoy , Robert Louis Stevenson , Louisa May Alcott , Frances Hodgson Burnett , Mary Shelly , and many more , I pulled a book out at random and headed towards the fire , there where no seats left , but the rug looked comfortable enough. Just as I reached the edge of the rug I tripped , the book started to slip from my fingers but I gripped tighter on it , knowing my luck it would head straight for the flames. Since I was holding the book it ment I would bit the floor face first , I braced myself for the pain of inpact and squeezed my eyes shut. But it never came , a pair of hands gripped my upper arm , stopping me from falling further , a bored sign was the only sound I heard.  
My eyes snapped open as soon as I realised the hands were ice cold , Vampire.  
Stood next to me was such a handsome creature , he was tall , at least 6ft , with dark hair flowing to his shoulders in waves , skin white as new lain snow and eyes a deep red , eyes which looked at me in an utterly bored fashion , he helped me stand , then turned and gracefully folded himself into the chair he had just vacated. Never saying a single word , or changing his expression once.  
"Marcus?" it was a whisper , one not ment to escape , but it had none the less , and I was stood there , gaping at him , mouth wide open and I was just staring at his face , his beautifully cold expressionless face. He nodded once , then went back to his book. I didn't know what to do , should I say thank you? should I ask to speak to him and his brothers? I hadn't expected to be so in awe of his beauty , I had expected to meet Aro first , he always seemed like the leader to me , and who would of thought of meeting on of the Volturi leaders in a fucking library? I was getting angry with myself now , I was still just stood there , gawking , I could feel my eyes filling with tears of frustration at my own idiocy.  
I turned on my heel and stormed out of the library before I could be stopped, I would not let these strangers see me cry , they would assume it was because I was upset I had fallen or something trivial like that , no one would think it was because I was angry with myself.  
As I ran through the halls I realised I had no idea where I was going , id become lost . Lost in a castle with Vampires who fed on human blood , this was not how I had planned it , I was supposed to find Aro , tell him I knew about Vampires , tell him I accepted my fate and let him kill me , it was ment to be simple , almost easy. It wasn't supposed to be this difficult , how hard was it to find a Vampire in this place anyway? I started to randomly opend doors as I passed them , all of them were empty , one after another , empty bedrooms , bathrooms , kitchens , huge empty rooms with nothing in them except years of dust , not one single person!  
I slumped against the wall defeated , I couldn't even manage to get myself killed properly , no wonder I was alone now. Clumsy , silly Bella , I started sobbing , real heartwrenching sobs , of self pity. I didn't care who saw me anymore , I just didn't care at all , I just wanted it to end , the pain , the shame of being broken and alone , left behind , I just wanted it to all stop , but my cowardice stopped me from ending it myself , id tried , but I just couldn't do it in the end , that's why I was here , I knew I wouldn't be allowed to live , it was my easy way out , and now I couldn't even get this right.  
I almost screamed as a hand touched my shoulder , I couldn't who it belonged to through my tears , I barely heard the voice over my own sobs.  
"so much pain child , hush now , come along" the voice was dry , quiet , not soothing , not annoyed , infact no emotion at all was displayed.  
I was once again heaved to my feet , then I was being led down a dark hallway to my right , Marcus had a firm grip on my arms , he pushed open a hidden door and I stumbled into the room , and came face to face with Aro.

**AN- Please leave reviews , suggestions on how the story could develop and how you like it so far ... **


	3. Chapter 3

chapter 3.

Aro stood before me , a jovial smile exposing too many teeth , he wasn't as tall as Marcus was , only a little shorter though , his hair was jet black , it was bound back by a red ribbon , his eyes of course were red ,although they seemed to have a milky glaze to them , almost like an elderly person who had cataracts , it was odd.

"Marcus! what have you brought me? a snack? a delicacy? an appetizer ready for this afternoons banquet?" He started to inch towards me , almost as if he hadn't realised he was doing it , his hand out stretched towards me , almost touching my hair. But instead Marcus`s hand shot out and touched Aro`s , their skin was the same snow white , now I could see it closer it almost looked powdery.

Aro`s head bent a little , his eyes took on a far away look and he started to hum , actually hum , I couldn't recognise the tune , but it was definitely humming. "Oh my! well this indeed is quite interesting , you there! helloooooo?" I looked around trying to see who Aro was talking to. " No , No child , you! what is your name? may I have your hand? you look positively frightened! as though you had seen some form of monster , but of course there is no such thing is there now dear?" with the last part his voice lost all pretence of joviality , it became cold and serious , his hand reached out once again , this time he touched my cheek , a look of anticipation on his face.  
This was It , it all happened so suddenly I wasn't sure how I should be feeling , but I was relieved , just a little few seconds of pain , then everything would be over , no more pain , no more shame , no more guilt or heartache , just no more anything , I couldn't wait , I trembled.

" what is this? WHAT IS THIS? how are you doing that? Child?! explain yourself!" I stared at Aro , I didn't know what he was talking about , doing what? what had he tried to do?

"im not sure I understand you" I muttered , I knew he would hear me, hell even if he was stood outside with the doors closed he would have heard me.  
He glared at me some more "Don't try to fool me child , you know what im talking about! blocking me! ME?! how dare you! you are nothing! and yet you dare to defy me? I will ask you only once more , how are you doing this?" he was visibly shaking with rage , he had a manic look about him , I began to wonder if he was mentally stable , afterall it was less then 5 minutes ago that he was happy and smiling , not to mention he was centuries old , that kind of lifespan had to have an effect somehow.

Then something he said jumped out at me "blocking" him out , was he trying to see my thoughts? I knew that He could never read my thoughts , I was the only person He hadn`t been able to , maybe Aro had the same gift? maybe he was trying to read my mind?  
"did you try to read my mind?" with that Aro froze , then slowly turned towards me.

"YES YOU BLOODY IMBECILE! NOW . !" He was screaming in my face now , I could see his iris` turning black at the edges , his face furious.

"i , I erm , I ... people cant read my mind ... Ed ... He tried before , it ... it ... it didn't work ... I , I , I don't know why" my voice broke as I stumbled over the words trying to fall out of my mouth , I sounded pathetic even to my own ears , not that it mattered anymore.  
He screamed , literally screamed in my face. I didn't know what to do , I was terrified , I had wanted to die yes , but I had wanted it to be quick , painless , almost soothing in a way.  
Yet now I had a feeling my death wouldn't be so peaceful after all , if Aro was going to kill me , it wouldn't be swift , or painless , he would want to know why my brain was different , he would think I knew somehow and wasn't telling him.

"are you going to kill me?" I asked because I couldn't think of anything else to say , I had no idea why my mind was closed to the Vampires , plus I was genuinely curious.  
it seemed my question had shocked Aro , he became still as stone , some marble perhaps with his colouring. Slowly he cocked his head to the side in puzzlement.  
"dear child , why would we kill you?" he made it sound like he was talking to a simpleton or very young child. all soothing voice and nice persona again.  
"well I know your Vampires , I thought that no humans could know , if they did then they had to die"

"Or turned child , they could also be turned and be granted the gift of eternal life"

No , no , no , no nonononoooo , I couldn't handle an eternity of this , feeling so empty yet so filled with pain and anguish at the same time , id much rather just die , how had I forgotten about the possibility of being turned. I was such an idiot .

"i don't want to be turned , I want to die" My voice was hard and cold , not showing a single ounce of the terror I was really feeling , I was proud of myself , maybe if I could show them I wasn't afraid they would grant my wish. Please grant my wish I silently begged , please ...

**AN- i realize i`m pretty rubbish at dialog , its not my strong point , so i apologize if its a bit ... ya kno ... crap lol , im not sure whats going to happen , as im pretty much just making it up as i go along , iv got a few fun ideas , but weather they materialize or not is a different matter**.** Also thank you very much for your reviews!** **Its lovely to see people actually like it! :D**


	4. Chapter 4

chapter 4.

I lay in the bed , trying to sleep , but I couldn't , no matter how hard I tried I just couldn't slip into the coolness of sleep. Instead I was trying to forget that Aro had decided I should live , trying to forget that I wasn't to leave the castle , trying to forget that I couldn't even leave these rooms id been shoved into , and trying to forget how lonely I felt.

It had been 4 days since it had been decided I should live , id screamed and cried and begged Aro to re-consider , I`d turned to Marcus , clung to his robes and pleaded that he just kill me then and there. But no one listened to me. A guard had been summoned , I couldn't remember his name , all I remember is that he was tall , taller then Marcus and had dark hair.  
He had picked me up and brought me here , explained I wasn't to leave and there would be gaurds outside at all times. Then he had left me alone , id seen no-one since , except when food was brought and placed on the table , but no one looked at me , let alone spoke to me.

A knock at the door made my head snap in the direction that fast that it hurt. The knock came again.  
"hello?" my voice sounded small and scared , I hated it.  
"Its Demitri , Miss? may I enter?" , I had no idea who Demitri was , or what he wanted , but right now I couldn't care less , I needed some interaction with someone , anyone! even if it was brief , less then 5 minutes , it would be better then silence. so I said "come in".

Demitri was tall , taller then Marcus , and had dark hair , I think he was the one who brought me to these rooms. He also had a strange pallor , it looked as thought he should have an olive skin tone , bright and alive , but instead it looked strange , still olive in tone , but pale too , there was no doubt when I saw his maroon eyes that he was also a Vampire.

"Iv been instructed to ask if you need anything Miss." He sounded ever so formal , it made me want to laugh or giggle , calling me "Miss" , I had never in my life been a Miss.  
" to be allowed to leave? to choose what I want to do?"  
He frowned , "Master Aro has instructed that you are not to be left alone , or to leave , he fears you may take your own life" his eyes were questioning , confused , but the rest of him was statue perfect.  
" I don't understand why I cant leave , if I choose to end my life , surely its my choice to do so? why is he playing God?" I was getting annoyed , it was showing in my voice , he still hadn't moved , was just stood there staring at me. "im sorry , but is it not up to me? I came here thinking it would be simple , I know about your kind , im human , I should have been killed , not shoved in a room for 4 days with not one explanation , or a single person to talk to , if I wanted to feel lonely , rejected and crap , id have stayed where I was!" my voice was getting louder , angrier , I could feel my face burning red with humiliation and anger. And yet the bloody idiot still stood staring at me!

"you feel alone? you need company?" I glared at him , I had just said that! I couldn't look at him anymore , just stood there uncaring , impassive , still. I turned on the bed and faced away from him , childish I know , but now id done it , I couldn't un-do it , or I would seem more childish , I huffed. I didn't care , infact he could go away and never come back as far as I cared.

I heard the door close , he had gone , I cried into my pillow. Left in here alone again , id have to think of a way to get them to let me go , this was a mistake coming here , I shouldn't have been so naïve to think they would help me , I should have just had the guts to do it myself. something peacefull , painless , maybe I should have swallowed loads of sleeping pills and some form of alcohol , but which pills and which alcohol would work best? would it matter? surely any would work... I think that's what I`ll do if I manage to get out of here .

-

I must have finally drifted away into sleep as one moment I was planning my suicide , the next I could hear someone calling my name , I couldn't put a face to the voice , I only vaguely recognised it. I moaned trying to pull the covers over my head , could they not just come back later?  
But no , the voice persisted , then I realised that the voice was saying my name , Isabella , over and over , I hadn't told anyone my name , how could they know it?  
I forced my eyes to open and blinked the sleep away from them.

it was the guard from earlier , , how did he know my name , why was he here and why on earth had he woken me up?  
"how do you know my name?" my voice was cracked and raw , evidently id continued to sob even after I drifted to sleep , my throat felt like sandpaper and I needed a glass of water and to go to the bathroom. Instead I had a Vampire stood next to my bed , once again staring at me.

" we found your handbag , your purse was in there , it had your drivers license still in it" Oh , I hadn't thought to take the license out , another silly mistake on my part. I groaned and shoved a pillow over my head , maybe if I was lucky I could suffocate myself.  
"you said you were lonely , you said you needed to be able to speak with people , interact. Human things." urgh! he just wouldn't go away!  
" I also said I wanted to leave , but I don't see you sneaking me out the backdoor cloak and dagger style" I peaked at him around my pillow , I swear I saw a slight twitch in the corner of his mouth , a suppressed smile maybe?  
"well I guess the sneaking me out of here isn't happening then. So why are you here? just to tell me you know my name? I prefer Bella by the way "

this time he did smile , it made his eyes crinkle in the corners , "You wanted company , im here for that purpose , talk with you , make you less lonely , Marcus requested it once he heard how you felt."  
Marcus requested it? why? why should he care? he left me here just like Aro did , then I realised what he had said , is he ment to be a pre-packaged friend? instantly bosom buddies?

"so you`re to what? sit and listen while I moan about being here? stare creepily at me while I sleep? follow me around?" I pulled the pillow fully away from my face and pulled myself up into a sitting position so I could watch his expressions better , all his cool demenor seemed to be slowly melting away , leaving him looking uncertain and vulnerable.  
"actually , if you want , im to become a friend if you wish." what on earth? is he looking hopeful? argh! what was I supposed to say while he just stood there , well I suppose someone to talk to wouldn't be bad , not a friend exactly , but someone to talk to about the weather , maybe even books.

"do you read?" he nodded , "well then , who`s your favourite author?"

and he was off , I couldn't get a word in edge ways , he was rambling on about how much he loved Stephen King`s the shining , but hated the movie , it was like he had never been able to speak this long before , his face became more animated the longer he talked , I realised he was turned when he was a year or so older then me , and he had freckles , a vampire with freckles ... I smiled and shook my head , who would have thought? I might have a friend here.

**please let me know if you`r liking the storyline so far , as before mentioned i have no idea where its going to end up , im just going with the flow lol , there wont be another chapter up until tomorrow afternoon ( im taking my kids to the railway museum so i wont get time until they are in bed to write anything) once again , THANK YOU! to everyone who has left a review , followed and hit the fav button :D**


	5. Chapter 5

chapter 5.

im not sure how much time has passed , maybe a week? or a little bit longer? I gave up counting the days ,they all blended into each other anyway , same routine day in , day out , id wake up , go to the bathroom to clean up , pick at the breakfast which would appear while I was out of the bedroom , stare at the walls for a while , talk to myself , read a bit of "wuthering heights" again , and again , and again , I was sick of that book now , it used to be a firm favourite , but now the characters just irritated me with their stupidity and fixation on each other.  
Around dinner time Dimitri would arrive , all nervous smiles and useless chatter , although in the time which had passed id discovered he had been 22 when turned , he wouldn't discuss how long he`d been Vampire , his favourite colour was yellow like the sun , he liked to read and disliked t.v. I had no idea there even was a t.v in this castle , I hadn't seen one , but then again I hadn't seen much of it.

Speaking of Dimitri , he had glided through the door without me noticing. He was just stood next to my chair , clearly trying not to laugh at me. Jerk.  
"I really wish you wouldn't just sneak up on me like that , I mean , what if I was getting changed or something and you just walked in here?"

His face broke into an easy smile "I did knock Bella , you were too into your own thoughts to hear me. I have a surprise for you." he looked happy , excited almost. I still wasn't used to him being so comfortable around me , compared to when I first met him to now there was a huge difference , iv even heard him laugh , and actually happy laugh at some lame joke id told.

I could see he was waiting for a response , his eyebrow was raised , just the one , he knew it annoyed me when he did that , id spent hours trying to master it , but I just looked confused or startled .  
"Ok , I`ll bite , what surprise? ice cream? a different book? please say its a new book , im not sure I could read this again"  
He shook his head "we`re going outside" was all he said then started to walk to the door.

I ran after him , shoving my trainers on as I went and the oversized hoody which was on the bed , was he joking? Did he even joke? he hadn't made a joke yet , maybe this was his idea of one? "where abouts are we going? Am I being released?" I almost fell over as I tried to match his strides , but he grabbed my arm to steady me.

"not released , but allowed to sit in the gardens for a while , Marcus also said you could also re-visit the library if you wished" he was suddenly formal , his voice and demeanour reflected it as soon as we had stepped out of my room. I didn't get chance to wonder about it as he was leading us through a maze of hallways so fast I couldn't keep up with the lefts and rights , just as I was starting to get dizzy we stopped in front of double glass doors , he pushed them open and I set foot outside for the first time in nearly 2 weeks .

It was fantastic , there was a cool breeze to combat the hot sun , the gardens were lush and green , roses and clematis bloomed everywhere I looked , the smell was divine , there was even a fountain in the middle of the garden. It was perfect.  
I ran over to the fountain and trailed my fingers through the water , it was cold but I didn't mind , it felt wonderful. I lay on the edge of the fountain and closed my eyes , one hand in the water , the other over my eyes. I hadn't realised how much I`d missed the sun.

"this is Marcus`s private garden , he requested that you were to come here" Dimitri`s voice was low , I peeked at him through my lashes and saw he was stood in the shadows near a wall.  
"hey ,Demitri , why don't you come and relax in the sun?" I called out to him , he was so excited in my rooms about coming outside and now he was hidden in the shadows , it just didn't seem right. He shook his head and stayed where he was. I was bored of having to do things alone , why couldn't he just come and sit on the bench near me and talk like we did in my rooms? Stuff this , I was going to drag him over here.

He was watching me wearily as I pretended to stalk over to him , "don't vorry my vittle fwenndddddd , I vont bite!" he cracked up laughing at me , which was the plan all along , although my impression was pretty rubbish. "come on Demitri , come sit in the sun with me , I don't want to be in the shadows all day if we don't have to." He still didn't move so I grabbed on his arm and pulled him towards the sun , he didn't budge at first , but the more I tried and pulled faces at him the less he fought me , in the end I was triumphantly leading him towards the bench near the fountain.

once id shown him to the bench I resumed my place on the side of the fountain. Marcus had been the one to let me outside , and into his private garden , why? Not that I wasn't grateful , of course I was , but I did wonder as to why he was trying to be nice to me when we had only met briefly. I could see Dimitri glittering in the sunlight by the side of me , he seemed uncomfortable.  
"hey , Dimitri , do you know why Marcus said to bring me here , to his private garden?" I was watching his face closely as I spoke.  
"No , I saw him this morning and he told me to bring you here and then to the library after if you wanted" he was twisting his hand back and forth in front of his face , watching his skin shimmer and shine.

I rubbed the scar on my hand , that shimmered slightly in the sun too sometimes , not so much that anyone would notice though.  
"i was bitten once you know." I don't know why I said it , but I had , he was looking at me strangely.  
"don't be silly Bella , you would be turned if you were bitten , its how it works" he sounded annoyed , as though I had lied to him to try trick him or something , I sat up and put my hand in front of his face , turning it so he could see the bite scar shimmering a little.  
" I was bitten , a Vampire named James did it , it seems like it happened in another lifetime now , I felt the venom spreading , burning like fire through my veins , iv never felt anything like it before , I thought I would die"

He was staring at the scar , he reached out a finger and brushed it along the raised edges.  
"so why are you not Vampire now?" his voice was a whisper , he was still focused on the scar.  
"someone was there , they helped me , drank my blood until I was free of the venom" I felt the tears start to fill my eyes and angrily fought them away , He didn't deserve my tears , I had stopped loving him , but it didn't stop the pain our memories held , I had thought he loved me as much as id loved him , evidently id been wrong.

"who was he?" Dimitri was watching my face , he must have seen the tears before id banished them.  
"not who I thought he was , he doesn't matter anymore , its in the past" my voice sounded small even to my own ears. I sighed and looked up at the clouds , I suddenly didn't feel like sitting outside anymore. "can we go to the library now? I feel like finding a new book" he nodded and lead me through the doors and more corridors , we finally reached the huge ornate doors I remembered.  
"am I allowed to be in there alone? I , ummmm , I just feel like being alone for a while , I promise I wont do anything stupid." I just wanted time to gather my thoughts , relax and yes , maybe have a little cry in private. He just opened the doors for me.

Once I had stepped through them into the room they closed behind me , I was alone again , something I had grown to hate lately , but right now I cherished it.  
The fire was lit , as it was before , but I couldn't see anyone in here , thank god , I went over to a love seat pulling a book out at random as I headed towards it , I curled up and tried to read the first page , but I couldn't see past the tears , I put my head in my hands and let them fall , huge gut wrenching sobs started to escape from me.

I knew it was stupid to cry over him now , after all this time , but it still hurt , he left me , they had followed just leaving me behind like some unwanted toy , broken , shattered beyond repair , not a single word from them after to see if I was ok , and nothing had helped me , poor Jacob had tried his hardest to make me happy , and for a while I thought it might work.

But it hadn't , if anything it made my loss even more obvious , id read so many books and they all go on about the numbness you feel when your heart is broken , they were wrong. There was no numbness just a giant aching pain , slowly devouring your heart and soul , eating away at anything which could possibly make you happy again , nothing was the same after you felt pain like that.

"Bella?"  
I froze , no one was supposed to be in here , Demitri was outside , and that certainly wasn't his voice. This was a voice I didn't recognise , cold , unfeeling , bored.  
I lifted my head from my arms slowly to see who had intruded. I expected to see Marcus , but instead the Vampire I saw ( his red eyes were a giveaway , along with the snow white skin) looked to be in his late 30`s , with white hair , almost the same shade as his skin , it barely brushed his shoulders. And he did not look happy , in fact he look furious.

"I couldn't believe it until I saw you , human and alive while knowing of us. Kept in the lap of luxury no less. Even after begging pathetically for death" He smiled , but it was a cruel rwisted one , it terrified me , I didn't know who this creature was , but I knew for certain he wasn't going to be my friend.

"Don't worry little Bella , no one else listened to what you wanted , but I , I shall grant your wish"

With that he launched himself at me , pinning me to the seat , my head was briskly yanked to the side , exposing my neck and my jugular , I could just see him out of the corner of my eye , lowering his head towards it . His teeth seemed huge to my scared eyes , I quickly squeezed them shut so as no to see them break the flesh.

His breath was cool against my skin , it rose goose bumps where it touched , then he licked me , sighed and I felt the pressure of his teeth pressing down before suddenly he was gone.  
" YOU DO NOT TOUCH HER!" I spun round to find Marcus crouched infront of me , snarling and spitting the words out.

The other Vampire just laughed " I`ll have her one day Marcus , you cant keep her safe forever , locked away in her room or in your garden , even here , I shall find her , and I`ll rid us of this pest."  
Marcus flew at him , tackling him to the ground , smashing his head against the hard flooring " Get out Caius , if I find you near her again I wont be so lenient" with that he threw the Vampire Caius across the room towards the door. And Caius left , slamming the doors behind him so hard that one cracked down the center.

"Bella , are you hurt?" I couldn't reply , the room was spinning , I couldn't breath , then suddenly darkness...

**AN- hope your enjoying the story so far , sorry this chapter seemed rushed , iv not got to spend as much time as id like on it , and once again , sorry for my crappy dialog. Another big thank you to everyone who has reviewed , fav`d and followed :D**


	6. Chapter 6

chapter 6.

When i next awoke , it was dark outside , i could see the stars beyond the walls of the castle , it looked so peaceful. My head on the otherhand was anything but peaceful , it felt like there was a tiny man in there going to town with a sledge hammer.

Groaning i turned over , thats when i realised i wasnt in my bed or in my room.  
"Bella? are you ok?" I was Demitri , he was laid on the floor next to the bed , eyes closed , he looked asleep.  
"i guess so , got a headache though , Demitri? where am i?" my voice was dry and raspy , it made me wish for a glass of water.  
"in my rooms , yours are ruined , Caius had a little issue with you using them"  
"your room?"  
He smiled wickedly up at me and wiggled his eyebrows "ohhhh what would the neighbours think?" he said in a high voice , i couldnt help but laugh at him.

We were sat playing chess again , Demitri was winning , again , he got stupidly happy as he shouted out "check mate",  
"im starving you know , can we go find something to eat please?" as if to prove my point my tumy made an audible gurgle , i was really hungry , i dont know how long it had been since i last ate. Before we made it to the door to the hallway it swung open.

"could i have a word with Bella in private please?" I was Marcus , he didnt wait for an answer before heading in our direction , Demitri quickly stood , bowed and headed for the door , it really was strange watching how fast he became closed off once someone else was around us.

I watched wearily as Marcus grafefully sat in the chair Demitri had just vacated.  
"i have come to apologise for my brothers behaviour. He has very set views on the usefulness of humans and the dangers they pose to our secret . He doesnt agree with you staying here and has shown it in a vulgar fashion. I cant apologise enough for his rudeness."  
So almost killing me is classed as rude , i would have thought it was more murderous tendencies , but i wasn't about to say that. Instead i said " its ok , i know it must be an inconvieniance having me here".

He shook his head slowly , "no , not at all Bella."  
I wish he would stop looking at me like that , it was causing my heart to do funny little jumps , i could feel my face burning in response , i knew he would be able to hear it , he must think i had a silly schoolgirl crush. it was embarrassing.

"thank you for letting me go to your garden Marcus , it truely was beautiful." i couldnt think of anything else to say.  
his face lit up in response , the first genuine smile i'd seen , and it made him even more breathtaking , i noticed now that he was around 19 when he had been changed , not his mid 20's like i had first thought.  
"i am glad you enjoyed it , i like to spend time there and reflect on things" I started to fidgit , my palms were getting sweaty , i really wanted to touch him , just his hand prehaps , to see if it was as cool s i remembered.  
"i need to leave now Bella , you may visit the gardens any time you wish , just ask Demitri to accompany you." he rose from the chair , not taking his eyes from my face , then slowly he reached out and plucked one of my hands from my lap. Then he lowerd his head , eyes still on my face , and kissed it.

I gasped , my heart rate easily doubled and was jumping erratically all over the place. As i faught to get myself back under control i saw him smile a devilish grin before he turned and left.

-

i was still sat there , staring at my hand when Demitri came back.  
"Bella? is everything ok?" he sounded unsure of what to do , i froced myself to nod at him.  
"if your still hungry we can go to the kitchens? see if there is any food in there for you?" I perked up at that , iv not been to the kitchen before , and its been a while since i got to make my own food , i really wanted some good old mac and cheese , not all this fancy stuff they keep sending in. I didnt even know what half of it was.

It didnt take long to reach the kitchen , it was bigger then i thought considering vampires didnt eat. It had all top of the range appliances , all in black and silver , luckily i found the items i needed to make mac and cheese.

I chattered happily to Demitri while i was making it , about when i first arrived in forks , how i had to share a bathroom with my dad , how much i missed my truck.  
"sounds like you had a good life Bella , you should have stayed you know , it would have gotten better again."  
i just shook my head , "it wasnt an option to me Demitri , it still isnt"

He was silent for a minute , "dammit Bella , why is it so hard? why would you want to end it all , your human , you have so much more to do in your life , you cant end it over every boy who breaks your heart!"

I was beyond shocked , id never thought he was judging me , how little he understood , i didnt want to die because id been left , i wanted to die because i was broken , it had been just over a year and nothing had gotten better , i was still as broken now as i was they day they had left. Didnt he understand it wasnt ever going to get better? i was always going to be this broken , in this much pain , it was never ending knowing i wasnt good enough.

i stormed out of the kitchen , heading blindly down corridors , not caring where i ended up , just knowing i needed to get away from his hurtfull words , id thought he was a friend , i was stupid , he was obviously just baby sitting me , judging me silently while playing the part. And i had been stupid enough to believe him.

"Bella! wait! please!" I ignored him and ran faster , charging round corners in a bid to try outrun him.  
It was a fruitless exercise really , within minutes he was in front of me , pulling me into him , holding me close and saying sorry repeatedly.

i shoved against him , my eyes leaking tears against my will , " just leave me alone Demitri , you dont understand how it feels to be this broken! just LET GO!" i was shouting now , frantically trying to get away from him.

He wouldnt let me go , although he did let me step away from his body.  
"Why dont you see Bella? why do yu have to be so blind?" I stopped struggling , just stood there , my chest heaving , gasping in great big breaths. I raised my head to look at him , to tell him to take me back to my room , but i spotted Marcus coming round a corner.

Before i could utter another word Demitri pulled me close again , and kissed me.

then all hell broke loose.

**A.N - firstly im so sorry its taken so long for another chapter! iv been having issues with my laptop , it randomly deleted everything i wrote 5 times in a row , and then my internet connection was down for a few days , once again so sorry! hope you like this chapter , it took a while to write as i kept forgetting what i had already written and what i had wanted to happen. the next chapter should be up in a day or so hopefully , let me know what you think , and as always thank you all for reading , hitting the fav and follow buttons and leaving me reviews :D so far iv not had a single bad review **


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7.

Demitri was kissing me one second then gone the next. It was all happening so fast it was hard to register what was going on.  
Marcus had Demitri pinned to the wall by his throat , i could hear a terrible grinding noise and couldnt figure out what it was until i saw the faint cracks start to snake their way across Demitrirs shocked face.

"Marcus no! dont hurt him" i launched myself at them , hoping to somehow Marcus from killing him.  
i hit and pulled on Marcus' arms , but it was like he didnt even notice me , the cracks were getting bigger and deeper across Demitris face.

"please Marcus , please! stop" i was sobbing and i didnt care , i needed him to stop.  
I pushed my way under Marcus' arm so i was between them and forced myself in front of Demitri's face.  
When i finally managed it and looked at Marcus' face , it was pure rage , his eyes were dark , almost black , his mouth twisted into a snarl , teeth on show with the slightly larger fangs seeming to take in all the focus.

"get away from him Bella , he's beyond reasoning" the voice was small , fragile , it took me a few moments to realise it was Demitri who had spoken.

Nothing i was doing was working , i tried pushing , shoving , kicking , hitting , screaming , begging , barganing , but to no avail , Demitri had gone silent , his eyes distant , and those cracks looked horrific.

Thats when i saw the chunk of rock on the floor , it must have been chipped loose once Marcus had pinned Demitri to the wall.  
I dived on it , shoved the sleave up on my jacket and gouged it into my arm until i felt it pierce the skin , the blood welled almost instantly.

both pairs of eyes dropped to the sight of fresh blood. I hadnt thought past this point. Maybe i would die now after trying to save Demitri's life. I wasnt sure how i felt about that anymore , maybe i wasnt as ready as i thought.

"please Marcus , dont hurt him" Marcus narrowed his eyes at Demitri , he stood still as marble apart from his eyes.

i had no clue what to do , or how to feel . I didnt understand why Demitri had kissed me, surely we were just friends , thats how i viewed us , but now this. Did he view us as more? had i somehow led him to believe that?

And what about Marcus' reaction? why so angry? he almost killed Demitri , just for kissing me.  
Vampires were a lot more confusing then i had origonally thought.

Neither of them had moved really , although i could feel the tension in the air , a knife could easily cut through it , it was that thick.  
Not to mention the slow drip , drip , drip of my blood hitting the floor. I really should find something to stem the flow before it made things worse.

"right you two , one of you needs to give me your jacket , i need to staunch the flow of blood before it causes an issue" i was proud my voice was strong , not a single tremor was heard in it.

Both of them moved too fast for me to see and held out jackets at the same time , i didnt know which to take without offending the other. So i took both and awkwardly pressed them against the gash in my skin.

"so am i the only one who hasnt got a clue whats just happened hear?" they just stared at me , saying nothing. i sighed , "seriously , please can someone explain what just happened?"  
I was starting to feel a little dizzy , i looked down at my arm and realised the jackets were both soaked with my blood. that was odd , i was sure it wasnt that bad a moment ago.  
"Demitri? Marcus? could one of you at least speak to me please?"  
I really was going dizzy , i lent against the wall to try stop the room from spinning. I could feel the jackets getting more and more wet and sticky with my blood. I was sure i hadnt cut myself that badly , id just dug the sharp side of the stone into my skin and pulled , surely it had just been a scratch?

Finally he started to speak , " i just , it seemed like , it was time , Bella? are you ok?" I barely heard him , my teeth were chattering too loudly , i felt cold and clammy.  
"Bella? whats wrong?" i tried to nod that i was fine , but i threw up all over myself instead , i was shaking now.

"you fool , can you not smell it? Shes hit the radial artery , shes bleeding out" I couldnt make sense of what Marcus said , bleeding out? it was just a scratch , you cant die from a scratch.

-

i could feel burning all up my arm , white hot icy burning , id never felt anything like it in my life. I tried to turn away from it , what ever it was i needed to get away from it.

i could hear someone shouting , then realised it was me.

The burning was everywhere now , i couldnt move , i was pinned into place by my own body refusing to twist and bend how i wanted. I wanted to scream , to shout , to howl out my pain , but all that came from my poor scortched lips was little wimpers.

Id finally realised what was happening to me , one of them had bitten me , i was being turned. dont know how long id been lain here , or how much longer i had left of this torture. I could hardly organise my thoughts into being coherant , let alone markt he passage of time.

-

My heart was trying to beat its way out of my chest! help me! i cant breath! its not working , it hurts so badly!

"arghhhhhHHHHH!" i finally found my voice again , i could feel cool hands trying to hold my body down to the surface below me, " make it stop! MAKE IT STOP! ITS BURNING ME!1 MAKEITSTOPMAKEITSTOPMAKEITSTOP! ARGHHHHHH!" my voice was raw , i could hear how dry and cracked it was and i didnt care , i just wanted this pain to go away , the frantic beating of my heart seemed to continue to get faster and faster until i was sure it would explode.

then suddenly it stopped.

-

Finally the pain had stopped , i felt raw all over , like someone had scrubbed at my sking with a wire brush.  
I opened my eyes and blinked. i could see so much more clearly , little dust notes floating around and catching the sunlight looked like little specks of pure gold , the pits and rises in the stone on the ceiling and walls looked like a beautiful new landscape.

"Bella?" the voice was low , almost musical. I turned towards it and saw Marcus stood next to Demitri , they both were staring at me.

"which one was it?" oh! my voice sounded different , lighter somehow.

neither of them answered , only looked at the floor. I suddenly felt angry , jumping off the table i stalked over to them , "tell me who did this?" still no answer , i growled deep in my throat , not even pausing to consider how strange it was.

"how do you feel my dear?" it was Marcus , his voice was a deep baratone , it must have been Demitri who had spoken first.

"fuck how i feel! which of you assholes turned me?" i felt anger surging through me , id never felt anything like it in my life , when neither of them bothered to answer me i ran over to the window and jumped.

The ground hurtled towards me and yet it seemed to happen in slow motion , i could see every blade of grass bend in the breeze.

It wasnt until i landed that i noticed it was night. The stars were even more amazing then i could ever imagine , i stood for a second , storing the sight to memory , then i ran.

**A.N- sorry its such a short chapter , iv had a few personal issues over the past few days , its been emotionally draining and iv not had much time to write , but anyway , here it is , i hope you like it! as always please leave your views on it , i love to read them , and its lovely to see that people actually like it :D hope your all excited for the next one! ( it should hopefully be up in the next few days) **


	8. Chapter 8

chapter 8.

I didnt know where i was going to go , i only knew i had to get away from them , the anger was eating me alive, id never felt so angry in my life.

how dare they just assume they could change me into this monster! They knew! they both fucking knew i had wanted to die! And now i was stuck like this until they decided they got bored with me.

And what is that burning? i thought the burning stopped once you changed? I rubbed my chest , heartburn? surely not? It started to creep its way up my throat , burning , itching , dry. Then i realised what it was , the thirst.

Crap , i was newborn , alone , away from any vampire who could possibly help control my needs and i was in a city full of humans , humans which i could smell now , warm , fresh , juicy scents surrounding me.

I needed to get away , fast , before i hurt someone. But they did smell so delicous , i could imagine how it would feel , warm , fragrent and rushing down my throat , cooling the increasing burning so it no longer ached.

Would it be so bad to feed on humans? maybe just the odd one , here and there... NO! i shook my head violently , what was i thinking? no , i wouldnt do that , not now , not ever , i needed to find something else , a deer , wilcat , hell id drain a scabby horse riddled in disease if i had to , just anything to keep me from becoming a full fledged monster.

But where? where could i find something? i was in the city , no wildlife around here , no close access to a national park or what ever they had to offer.

Just then a dog ran in front of me , something gross dangling out of its mouth , i followed it round a corner and into the shadows. I couldnt believe i was about to do this. It smelled vile , neglect was issuing off it in waves , fur matted , tail bent in an odd angle , o hell , it only had 3 legs too. But when needs must and all that.

So i dived on it , i could smell the fear coming off the poor thing moments before i snapped its neck. I drained it dry , it still wasnt enough , the burn seemed to flaire and itch even was nothing i could do though , i couldnt see anything else i could feed from. Except the humans , nice big life giving human , rich dark blood , thickly pumping around their sweet veins , so close to the surface , such a wide varity of scents emitting from them.

I could feel how sweet the blood would taste , how perfect it would feel sliding down my throat , soothing the burn as it went , slowly filling me , nurishing me , making me more alive , stronger then ever.

Wait. I could actually feel it , it wasnt my imagination! No! i looked down and saw the lifeless body of some poor soul at my feet. I felt the panic rising in me , had i just? how could i have? i hadnt wanted to! this was so wrong , so terribly wrong!

I turned and once again ran , this time i took note of where i was going and headed away from the city , i headed towards the expanse of open fields i could now see. Hoping that beyond them would be some sort of refuge , some caves , old farm building , even a hole in the ground would do for now , anywhere to try and hid from the monster i had become.

-

I finally found a cave. It was small , dark and had the bones of some smaller animals littered around the opening. I knew it had to be the home of some larger predator , but from the smell of the place they had long gone. It was just me.

I should make a fire to keep warm , find something to use as a blanket for while i slept. Oh , i dont sleep anymore , nor do i feel the cold , just this burning hunger , clawing its way up my throat again. What was i going to do? I'd run away fromt the only people who could help me , then murdered someone.

The wind shifted and i smelt something , something big , hairy , i looked towards the scent , my eyes perfect in the dark , picking our a wild boar hidden just behind the tree line , his mean looking tusks flashing in the moonlight as he rubbed them up and down the bark. The scratching sound was annoying , i could hear every little rasp.

I could also hear the lazy thud , thud , thud of his heart pumping blood , blood which i could feed on , blood i could easily get.

I was up and down the slight slope before the hog even knew i was there , he squeled in terror as i reached for the tuft of hair on his neck , pulling him towards me , mouth wide in anticipation , i sunk my teeth into him , guzzling the rich blood down , not as nice as the human blood , not by far , but still good enough to help th burning.

It wasnt until i was back in my cave that i realised i hadnt even snapped the poor things neck before i drained it , and my clothes were ripped to shreds across my chest and stomuch , he must have tried to gouge me with his tusks.

-

I spent 2 weeks on the move , constantly , i didnt want to stay still for too long incase i was found , i stuck to animal blood , feeding everytime i spotted something furry moving , anything from rats and squirrels up to deer and once even a couger.

But the thirst was still there , burning , day and night , driving me insane , i found myself constently rubbing my neck , scratching a little at my throat , trying to soothe it.

And i was lonely , so , so lonely , i missed the castle , i missed the gaurds i had come to know. I even missed Demitri and Marcus, the bastards who had changed me , betrayed my trust. Thinking of them made me pensive. Demitri had kissed me , i remembered that , and Marcus had tried to kill him for it. What did it mean? why would either of them be intrested me , i assume Marcus had tried to defend me from what he thought was an attack.

But why had Demitri kissed me? i had to admit it wasnt as though i had hated it , i hadnt really tried to fight him when it had happened. But he had caught me off gaurd , shocked me. I hadnt known what to think in all honesty.  
I hadnt thought id given any inclination towards that sort of relationship with him . It had never crossed my mind , i had just seen us as friends , but now i was unsure , friends didnt treat each other like he had treat me , and they certinally didnt allow said friend to be turned into a monster against their will.

And what about Marcus? Surely he went a bit over the top. He almost killed Demitri. The thought of his beautiful face screwed up in rage , his smooth lips pulled back into a snarl , all because Demitri had kissed me , it should scare the hell out of me , but instead i found it strangley sexy. It didnt make sense , when i was human i had found it terrifying , but now , with my emotions hightened and all over the place i actually found it a turn on, that he was that possesive of me.

But i knew it was stupid , he didnt feel that way towards me , it was more likely that he was annoyed Demitri had dissobeyed orders or something. Nothing to actually do with me personally , i knew that the humans who worked in the castle were not to be bitten , he must have thought Demitri was going to bite me , not kiss me.

I suddenly felt desperate to see Marcus again , just to see him , sat in the libary , catching me as i fell...

I shook my head , what was going on with me? I stomped towards the hollow log id been using as my camp when suddenly something hit the side of me with such force i was sent flying into the nearest tree.

I sprang to my feet , launching myself at the attacker , teeth bared ready to bite.

"Bella! no , stop! its me!"

I froze , Demitri was pinned to the ground under me.

Shit. "what are you doing here? how the fuck did you find me?" i was snarling between clenched teeth , i didnt know what to do , everything was telling me to rip his head off , that he was a danger , but a smaller part , the humanity in me told me to wait , he was my friend.

"i was sent to track you Bella , let me up please , we need you to come home , things have changed and we need you" He sounded worried , i smiled wickedly to myself , he should be worried.

"Bella please , listen , i know what i did was wrong , i shouldnt have"  
I laughed , "so it was you? you bastard! you changed me! how could you? , you knew this isnt what i wanted! you complete and utter cunt! im suffering , im in constant pain , agony , how could you do this , knowing how i felt , how empty and in pain , you knew it would be worse , you complete and utter monster , ... how could you" if i could still cry , tears would be falling from my face , i couldnt believe he had betrayed me, left me to a life full of suffering.

"wait what? turned you? no! no Bella please! it wasnt me!"  
"LIES" i hissed , i rose to my feet , yanking on his arm to drag him up with me , if i was ging to kill him , least i could do was let him stand.

"Honestly Bella , i didnt , let go of my arm Bella , your stronger then you think " I was strong , i knew that , i pulled on his arm again , satisfied to hear a grinding sound , i watched his face become even more pale , i like it , i pulled harder and harder untill i could feel small bits of his granite skin snapping.

"Bella , dont do this please , i swear to you it wasnt me who turned you"

"If it wasnt you , you still sat and helped Marcus turn me!" with one final pull his arm ame loose from his torso , the sound it made was horrendus , but it made me delirously happy.

"Oh , Demitri , you should have known better then to find me" i reached for the other arm , pulling on it , waiting for the grinding , grating sound to start up again , my body vibrated in anticipation.

"Bella , stop ... please ... dont do this!" he was gasping , face scrunched up in pain.

"you should have stayed away , safe in your castle , surrounded by the gaurd , you would have been safe , i wasnt going to come looking for you , i didnt want to hurt you , you ruined everything Demitri , now im stuck like this , and its your fault , you changed me into the monster you are!"

"No Bella , it wasnt me , please , we need you at the castle , Marcus is" i cut him off  
"stop! i dont want to hear about him! he was nice to me , like you were , but you and him , you changed me into a fucking monster! i killed someone! i murdered them! all because of you two!" i couldnt keep up with my mood swings , i was so upset now , and i didnt want to hurt him anymore , i wanted to run again , i wanted to escape.

"no Bella , it wasnt us , i promise you , it really wasnt , please , just come back with me , everything will be explained , we can teach you how to controll yourself , we can help you , just please come back."

i turned away from him , dropping his severed arm in the dirt next to him. He scrambled to grab it , holding it to his chest.

"Bella dont run , just come with me , im still your friend , i still care for you , that kiss ... that kiss was stupid , im sorry , i dont know why i did it , i just , i dont know! i just thought that we , that we could be ..." his voice was small as he trailed off , he just stood there looking at me , pain written across his face.

I didnt know what to do , i couldnt stay out here , by myself , but if i went back , id be stuck there with them , and i wouldnt know how long for.

As if he could read my mind he simply said " you dont have to stay... you can leave again"

I sighed , i knew i would regret this , "ok , take me back."

He walked away , into the trees , and god help me , i followed.

**A.N - just incase people were wondering , iv been following the descriptions of the characters from the books , not the films , hence why Marcus is around Bellas age and Caius is older lol , i had a few inboxes about it.**

**As always , thank you to everyone who is reading , hit the follow/fav buttons and especially to everyone leaving review , only one flame so far , so i must be doing ok lol , hope you all enjoyed the chapter! hoping to get another one up over the weekend , i think you`ll like it (well fingers crossed lol)**


	9. Chapter 9

chapter 9 .

It only took us 3 days to get back to the castle , i must have walked around in circles for the most part when i had run away. I hardly spoke to Demitri while we walked together , i felt bad about ripping his harm off. He held it limply against his torso with his other hand , i wondered if the Volturi could re-attatch it?

I regretted saying i would come back to the castle now , i had no idea what was waiting for me behind those walls. They would be angry with me for running away , and i had killed within the city walls , that was forbidden unless it was at the castle , maybe they were going to punish me.

It was too late to turn back now , Demitri was ushering me through the underground tunnels. I was that scared i could taste it in the back of my throat above the burn of thirst.  
"i'll take you to get cleaned up first Bella , you cant go see Aro and Cauis looking like that."  
I glanced down at myself to realise my t-shirt was still torn to shreds , but i was also filthy , dirt was covering what remained of my clothes and stained my pale skin.

"Iv got no clothes" my voice was rusty from missuse but still an improvement on my human voice strangely.

"there are plenty to choose from , i'll get someone to bring some to your new rooms for you to choose from" So i wouldnt be in my old rooms then . But then i remembered Cauis had trashed them , made them unfit to be used , not that it would matter so much anymore , i didnt really need to use them for much except somewhere to wait until i was summoned.

After around 5 more minutes we arrived at my new rooms , Demitri opened the door , looked like he was about to say something but just shook his head and walked away.  
The room was beautiful , all silvers and blues , i sighed as i looked around , i was worried to even walk across the pale blue rug to get to the bathroom to grab a shower , i would ruin it with filthy footprints.

In the end i tried to jump over it so as not to touch it , it didnt end too well , it would appear even as a vampire i was still clumsy , i landed wrong , face planted the floor leaving a dint and somehow managed to drag my leg across the rug and leave an ugly dark smear.  
I felt fantastic after my shower , i hadnt realised how dirty i actually was , the water ran a dark muddy brown for at least 10 minutes as i scrubbed away at my skin , my hair was worse.

When i walked back into the main room i noticed someone had been and left a chest at the foot of the bed , as i inched closer i could see it was full of womens clothing. I raided it and managed to find a suitable t-shirt and pair of jeans , luckily all the underware seemed to be brand new with the tags on , all in various sizes.

No sooner had i dressed when someone knocked on the door , i didnt even get chance to answer before it swung open and hit the wall with a thud.

" good , now you have finished messing around , prehanps you would like to explain to me what you have done?" Cauis was glaring at me. I had no idea what he was talking about , what had i done? , then realisation dawned on me.

"im sorry , i didnt actually mean to , not even the once , i was just so hungry! and the dog wasnt enough ..."  
"shut up you fool , i dont care about that , i care about what you have done to my brother!"  
"im not sure i understand? iv done nothing to anyone sice i left"  
"Do not think you can lie to me child! there is something you have done to him , you have used what ever gift you have and done this to him"

I stood staring at him , " i have no idea what your going on about Cauis , not a single clue. Im pretty sure i dont even have a gift , even if i did i have no idea how to even use it. Whats wrong with Marcus?"

He stormed out of the room without answering me. My chest felt tight , what was wrong with Marcus? and why did knowing something was wrong with him make me feel like this? If i still needed to breath i wouldnt be able to right now , as it was i stood gasping like a grounded fish for air. Fuck this , i was going to find out what was going on , i couldnt just sit here like a sitting duck , waiting on them to pass judgement on me or decide what i was to do for the rest of eternity.

-

I had no idea where i was. It was dark , but i could see fine , everything was just richer in colour , more dense too. But i didnt recognise anything around me , i tried around 20 doors but all of them were locked , i was trying to find my way back to my room when i heard voices talking around the corner.

"...dont know whats happened , the castle is on lockdown"

"I heard it was something to do with one of the Kings , taken ill"

"and how can he be taken ill? we dont get ill you idiot"

"im only repeating what i heard , dont bite my head off!"

"well i dont like it , it just doesnt feel right , we should be searching for who ever has hurt te King , not sitting here in the castle like bait"

"you think someones done something to him? I heard they brought the runaway back here , maybe she did it?"

"i doubt it , shes a newborn and from whats been said the King is in a bad way , screaming in agony for hours and no one can do ..." The voices faded away too much for me to hear anymore. But Marcus was ill , seriously ill by what they had said , in agony.

I needed to find him , try help him , what if it was me who had caused it? what if he had bitten me to turn me and i had somehow caused him pain , maybe i did have a gift and it hurt him. But Demitri had said neither him nor Marcus had turned me , was he lying? My head hurt at the rapid pace my thoughts ran through it.

I spent most of the night trying to find how to get to Marcus , or to find Demitri and ask him what was going on , but i could find neither of them. Just people who avoided me , wouldnt speak to me and activly moved away from me like i was some kind of monster. But i was now wasnt i.

And i was thirsty , throat clawingly thirsty. I needed to go hunt , but i didnt know if i was even allowed away from the castle by myself , but i needed to go soon or i may slip up again , although there wasnt many humans who worked in the castle i was sure i would find someone if the thirst took over again.

"DEMITRIIIIII!" i screamed his name as i marched down the corridors , i was past caring about the way others were looking at me , i needed to feed , i needed to talk to someone , i needed to know what the fuck was going on , and the only way to do tha was to get Demitri. So like a teenager having a temper tantrum i screamed my way around the castle until Demitri finally showed up.

"Bella , im pretty sure there is one person left in Italy who didnt hear you screaming my name , care to try again to get that last one?" I growled at him , i was beyond thirst now , i was partched , it was taking every little bit of willpower i possessed not to go hunting the humans in teh castle.

"Oh , i see , follow me , we have it all sorted for you Bella , just wait a few more minutes ok" HE started to run along the corridor , i followed him easily , he ran through doors and rooms so fast i barely glimpsed them , then suddenly we were out in a field , a field filled with horses.

"for you Bella , enjoy" and then he was gone.

I didnt even take a minute to think about how awful it would be to kill these beautiful animals , i just pounced on the closet one , sucking the blood from its snapped neck in greedy gulps. It took 5 horses for me to finally feel satisfied.

"Bella? Ill show you where you can clean up , then we need to talk" I hadnt even noticed Demitri had stayed , but i followed himm once again , cleaned up then headed to a small room filled with chairs and computers.

"whats going on Demitri? and dont lie to me , something is really wrong i know it , i can feel it , hes in pain , and it hurts me to breath knowing it , i need to find him , to see him , to stop it , just tell me!" i was shouting at the end of my little rant , but i didnt care.

Demitri just looked down at his lap , " i thought as much , im sorry Bella , but none of us know whats wrong , as soon as you left he changed , went wild , ripped his room to shreds , killed some of his personal gaurd , attempted to kill his brothers , any human he came into contact with he ripped their throats out and left them to bleed."  
What? wild? as in actually feral?  
"Demitri? are you saying Marcus is feral? wht have they done with him? where is he?" I stood up and started pacing from one side of the room to the other , my skin was on fire , i needed to see him for some reason , i didnt know why , but i knew i just needed to see him.

"its worse Bella , they've had to lock him away , its not safe for anyone to see him anymore not even Aro and Cauis go in there anymore" he was fidgiting , a sure sign he was holding something back from me , i screamed in his face.

"for fucks sake Demitri! just tell me whats wrong!"

He finally looked up at me , pity filled his face and his voice shook as he answered me , " Hes gone insane Bella, totally and irriversably insane , its gone on for too long , they are going to kill him at sunrise"

**A.N- as always big thanks to everyone who leaves a review , it really is amazing to me that anyone even bothers to read my story lol , its the first time iv attempted to write anything and stuck with it lol , also id like to apologise for the amount of spelling m istakes ect in my chapters , i no longer have Word on mylaptop , so having to use a diff app , which is a complete waste of time and has no spell check :/ **


	10. Chapter 10

chapter 10.

Insane? i didnt know vampires cold even go insane! and kill him? how could they kill one of their own Kings? wasnt that a rule or something? had no one tried to help him? cure him?  
"where is he Demitri?" i was surprised at how calm my voice was , all i wanted to do was scream at him , to make him tell me where Marcus was , i had no idea why i needed to see him so badly , but i knew if i didnt it would be unbareable.

"Bella , i cant tell you , you know that right? they forbid me to , pain of death actually"  
"well write it down or something , or at least tell me the general area , they will never know it came from you i swear to you! please! i just ... i need , i have no idea Demitri , but i need to see him , it hurts! i dont understand whats happening to me" i was begging him , actually on my knees in front of him , i didnt care ,each passing moment i burned a little more , i was sure any second i would burst into flames.

"I cant Bella , im so sorry , but i cant help you" Cant or wont i wondered?  
"fine , at least tell me which direction to go in you coward" i spat the words out at him , i didnt care if i hurt his feelings , my skin was burning and there was only so long it could burn for without bursting into actual flames , and i really didnt want to burn to death.

He hadnt moved or uttered another word so i stormed past him , out into the corridor and headed down it , any direction was better then none , i was almost out of hearing range when i heard a small voice call after me " bottom room on the east side of the building Bella , be safe , i ... i love you" I knew i should have said something back to him , thank you at least , but i chose to ignore him and run towards the east side of the building instead.

As i got closer i spotted more and more gaurds , and my skin felt like it was already on fire , i fancied i could smell the roasting flesh. I needed a distraction , something to get the gaurds away from here for a few minutes so i could get to the bottom floor.

I just needed a way to sneek past them , i wondered if they would notice if i tried to climb across the ceiling like spiderman , but i didnt know if it was actually possible.  
I was getting more and more agitated , my skin was horrendus i was sure i could smell it , and there was a gaurd walking in my direction and i didnt have time to hide!

i stood as still as possible , hoping wildly that if i did then they wouldnt notice me , that i would just blend into the stones behind me. But they kept coming towards me , eyes focused just to the left of my face , i held my breath , waiting for the inevitable , but it never came , the gaurd just walked past me , almost touching me , but not noticing me.

I was in shock , why hadnt they seen me? i carefully walked closer to the next gaurd , not breathing so as not to make a sound , and walked right past them , what on earth was going on? Had i somehow turned invisible?

I started to move faster , gliding past at least a dozen gaurds , i felt giddy , maybe i did have a power , a useful one , invisibility! But suddenly an arm reached out and grabbed my upper arm , dragging me to a dead stop.  
"where do you think you are going? and why has no one stopped her?" the gaurd was female , around 30 when she had been changed , dull brown hair and a beautiful face , but she looked at me like i was something she had stepped in.  
The remaining gaurds moved towards us , none of them looking happy , they must be anoyed i had tricked them somehow. I was going to die , and suddenly i no longer wanted to die , i wanted to live , at least a little longer.  
The gaurds were next to me now , reaching towards me , i cringed away from their hands , but they passed me! they moved towards the gaurd who was holding me , her eyes wide with shock "what are you doing? you need to sieze her !" her voice held an edge of panic as she let go of me and backed away.  
A different gaurd spoke to her in a deep voice , "we let her pass Claudia , we are loyal to our King , even in his throws of madness , he calls for her , you know he does , what harm in letting her go to him?"  
"what harm? have you lost your goddam mind? Cauis will kill us all for this! she is not to see him!" she was shaking now , knowing it was no use to argue , yet trying anyway.  
the gaurd closest to me pushed me in the direction of the stairs at the end of the corridor , "go quickly , there shouldnt be anymore trouble for now , but if Cauis hears about this he will be swift with his anger , go to our King , soothe his mind before its too late"

I ran , not bothering to try and be silent anymore , my feet slapped against the stairs as i flew down them , i almost fell numerous times but somehow held my balance , then finally i was at the bottom floor , it was deserted and held a single room with a solid metal door.

I was finally here , my skin still on fire , and i was glued to the bottom of the stairs by fear of what i would find behind that door , how had they managed to hold a vampire who was centuries old and stronger then most around him?

i could hear muffled yells from behind that door , cries of anger , rage , anguish and sadness all rolled into one heartfelt howl. it broke my heart to hear it , i was across the room and yanking the door opend before i realised it.

Only to be confronted with another door , then another , another and another , in total there were 15 steel doors , one after the other , all at least 2 ft thick. once i had opened the last door i gasped , Marcus.

At first it appeared he was laid down , but then i realised the shape under the blanket was too bulky to be his body , i ripped it off to find concrete. The bastards had concreated him! all that remained free was his head.

"Marcus...! i whispered his name , knowing he woul hear me if he was listening and sane enough.  
"you came" i jerked my head towards his in disbelief , i hadnt expected him to answer.  
"of course i came , what have they done to you ," my voice was raw with the tears i could never shed now.

As i watched his face i saw a strange look pass over it , then he started screaming again , i made soothing noises , trying to calm him down , his face was twisted now , as though he was in agony , then he was muttering meaningless words.  
"Marcus please , stop , talk to me , look at me , your scaring me" but he wouldnt , his eyes roamed around the room , never settling for a moment , i just wanted him to look at me , to speak to me again , i was getting scared.

I didnt know what to do he was starting to throw his head around , i grabed it with my hands so he didnt hurt himself , "Marcus , im here , look , please just look at me , im here , im not leaving" his eyes foun mine for a second then left again , i didnt know what to do , so i kissed him.

A voice came from behind me , "what the hell are you doing here" then i was thrown across the room.

**A.N- since its been a while since iv posted i thought id post 2 chapters , hopefully will get another up in the next few days if i get the chance , things have been a bit hectic atm , but hopefully wont be anymore , hope you enjoy it! **


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11.

i hit the wall hard , i felt it crack. And it bloody hurt!  
"i said! . !" It was Caius , he looked infuriated , stalking closer to me as he spoke. i was in trouble , i couldnt get past him to reach the door , there was no one else around. just me , Caius and Marcus.

"whats happened to him? why's he like this?" my voice betrayed the fear i felt , and i could tell he had noticed by the slight smirk appearing on his face.

"Well shouldnt you be able to answer that yourself you harlot?" Harlot? how could he call me that? and how on earth was i supposed to know what was wrong?

"I actually have no idea what your talking about! this is the first time iv seen him since i was turned" He snarled at me , disbelief written across his face.  
He had finally gotten close enough to reach out and strike me "LIES!" he snarled , "its lies and you know it! you've done this to him somehow , some gift we hadnt prepared for!"

I pulled myself up from the floor , one hand resting on my face where he had made contact , but everything felt normal , no bits of me flaking away. "Caius , i dont have a gift , surely you can see that?" I had skirted around Marcus so he was placed between me and Caius , effectivley keeping me out of his reach for a few moments.

"N ... n...nooooo ... not herrrrrrrrr...twelve! if you ad the lime to the coconut ... nnnnotttttttt , nopey nope nonononononnnnnnnnooooooo" I glanced down at Marcus , his eyes feverish , darting around the room , not settling for more then a second before darting around the room.  
"notttttt , nn ,... not ... hhhh ... herrrrrr" i looked up at Caius , who was just staring dumbly at Marcus , but it was plain what Marcus was trying to say.

"i told you Caius , i didnt do this , but i promise you , when i find who did , ill fucking annihilate them!" I could feel the fury , coursing through me as though it was something living. So this insanity wasnt brought on from decades of lonelyness and boredom , someone had caused this , inflicted this pain on Marcus. The very thought of someone doing this intentionally drove me wild , how dare they think they could do this!

My breath was shooting in and out of my lungs at a rapid rate , no human would have been able to cope with the speed of it , let alone the volacity , i could feel my body trembling with rage , pure unfiltered rage. I didnt know what to do or how to calm down , no matter where i looked all i could see was this horrid dark room where poor Marcus was confined to , cased in fucking concrete of all things! Because some complete twat had somehow driven him insane!

Some little prick had decided they could go near him! that they could inflict this damage oneto him! Ha ha ha! they had no idea what they had done! who they had pissed off! I was a newborn goddamit! I would rip them limb from fucking limb! Scattering them all around the world so they could never find them again! But first , firstly i would torture them , id slowly starve them , dangle blood infront of them and listen to them beg me to let them feed , id slowly burn them! Inch by little inch id watch was they charred to a blackened pulp before ripping them apart!  
"Bella? calm down , Bella! you need to let go!" I shook my head from side to side , eyes darting around quickly , trying to figure out who was speaking to me , and what i was supposed to let go.

Then i saw Caius , pinned to the wall , my hands holding him there by his neck , squeezing. Panic ran through me , i hadnt done this! i didnt remember even moving! i let go of him and flew to the other side of the room , finding the door and bolting back up to ground level.

-

Caius found me shortly , he didnt look angry , just amused. "well little Bella , i may have a use for you yet." a use for me? the hell did that even mean?

He inclined his head towards a set of doors leading to the grounds , i nodded and followed as he started to walk towards them.

"when did it happen? what can we do?" my voice was strained.  
"As soon as you were turned he started to act out of sorts. Strange mutterings , unusual actions for him , then he lost it not long after you left. I had thought you had somehow caused it" I was ready to argue , but i could see his point , Marcus was fine , then i got turned and he acted different , then i leave , run away without telling anyone and Marcus gets worse , it did look very suspect.

"i didnt do anything to him Caius , bu i want to find who did , and then im going to kill them" He nodded his head , a wicked grin lighting up his face.  
"Im glad you said that Bella , very glad indeed , i have only one other person who i feel could be responsible , but that will have to wait for a while longer while i continune to gather evidence." I scowled at him. I had just told him i wanted to help find the person responsible.

"What id like to speak to you about at the moment concerns your choice of diet. Animal blood? like that pesky Cullen coven? Surely you realise that is no way for us to feed?" I didnt know what to say , i hadnt expected the subject to change so suddenly.

"i dont want to kill people" my voice sounded small and pathetic , i glanced up at Caius to see him smiling at me.  
"Really Bella , we have been around for millenia , we have been based in this very castle for countless centuries , do you not think we hadnt developed a way of feeding which wouldnt alert the residents to their villagers going missing?"

Purplexed i just gaped at him , "I dont know what the Cullens have lead you to believe , but for the most part we are not all monsters , there are those among us who do prey on humans , but in this age is a small contingent. We mostly use donations"

"Donations?"  
He rolled his eyes , "Yes , donations , blood drives? not all of it ends up in the hospital , we take a percentage , store it in the right conditions and drink it when we need to feed. Of course sometimes i may partake in a hunt or two sometimes , but i mainly feed on the donated stuff these days." He looked proud of himself.

" so no one dies? or gets turned from a bite? you can what? Just cram a straw into a blood bag and sup it up like a juice box?" disbelief coloured my voice , how had no one told me this? It was a brilliant idea! no deaths , yet we could still feed on human blood! It was perfect!

I noticed my hand had been rubbing my throat while we had been talking , the burn was back , it was getting more intense now i knew i could feed on human blood. Caius had noticed my rubbing too , "Follow me , ill show you to the nearest stash"

We were both sat talking about Marcus when Demitri walked into the room , he nodded in my direction and headed towards the fridge. Caius glowered in his direction. wierd.

"Hey Bella , i see you heard about the blood supply , you realise i tried to tell you when you first came back?" he was smiling at me , i smiled back , i couldnt believe i had been so mean to him lately. He hadnt done anything wtong , he hadnt even turned me.

"sorry Demitri , i had no idea this was even possible , from what id been told before , it was biting or nothing really , and i didnt want to kill people." He nodded at my words , watching as i took a big gulp of the red liquid in my cup."want to join us?" i asked , holding out the proverbial olive branch of friendship.

He shook his head in a negative , my smile faded , i knew the hurt had flashed across my face before i had chance to compose myself.  
"i need to go on duty Bella , find me later though and e can catch up yeah? God only knows what trouble your getting into without me to help you ey!" I nodded , a catch up sounded like just what i needed. /maybe he could explain to me what was going on.

I watched him leave , giving a little wave before he went out into the hallway.  
Caius was watching the exchange frowning. Before i could ask what the matter was he spoke to me instead , " how long has this been going on?" his voice was cold , the slight tones of friendship we had been building earlier gone.

"what? how long has what been going on?" i was baffled.  
"you and the gaurd , Demitri? how long have you been together?" no mistaking it now , he was looking at me discusted.  
" together?" then it dawned on me that Caius thought me and Demitri were a couple or something , "oh! no! its nothing like that , hes just a friend , he wouldnt even be that if Marcus hadnt asked him to talk to me when i first arrived so i wasnt lonely."  
"so you have no feeling for him?" the questions seemed odd , a bit too personal really.  
"only those of friendship Caius , why?"

He looked back towards the door , "i have a feeling he doesnt see it the same way" my mind flashed back to him kissing me.  
Suddenly Caius leaned towards me , "how much do you trust him? would you trust him with your very life? to make sure you never hurt?" i didnt know what to say so i just stared blankly at him.

"swear to me that what i say next will not leave this room? that you wont act upon it"  
"i swear i wont tella soul and i wont do anything , now whats going on?"

And he told me , i wish he hadnt , but he told me. My only friend was a traitor , had been for almost a decade. "how do you know this?" i whispered.

"Bella , i do not say these things to hurt you , but you must know who you can trust , and he is not one of them , hes spying for the Romanians , bringing them information about us. Marcus was the one who noticed it first , a little over 8 years ago , the ties of loyalty between Demitri and the Volturi were fading , being replaced by a different loyalty."

If i could still cry i would have tears streaming down my face , i felt so stupid , to think i could have a friend here , "why did no one do anything before now?" somethign was niggling at the back of my mind , i couldnt get a grip on it yet though.

" we couldnt do anything without a witness to the crime , someone had to see him speaking to the Romanians." I was pretty sure i didnt want to hear anymore , but still i had to ask.  
"someone saw him didnt they?" he nodded , the niggling was becoming a huge itch now , " was it? i mean , is that why he's?" again he nodded. "and it was while i was changed?" Another nod.

i looked down at my hands , squeezing the small cup i was holding until it became nothing more then a pile of pottery on the table. " was it him who did it?"  
"no , he doesnt have a gift like that , he can find people , where ever they are. We had no idea a gift this powerful even existed , but we are assuming someone within the Romanian contingent has the gift , that they noticed Marcus as he watched Demirti relay information and set his mind ont he path to insanity."

My head was pounding now , the itch was beyond infuritating , and i was angry , angry and upset , i thought i had a friend , someone i could trust , but he had betrayed the whole coven , and managed toget Marcus atacked. I still didnt understand my feelings towards Marcus , all i knew was that i was so unbleivably angry anyone had dared to harm him , he was mine!

I flew up from the chair and out into the hallway , searching for Demitri , i wanted answers , and i was going to get them one way or another!

**A-N- as always , please let me know what you think of the story so far , any ideas on how to help with character development are brilliant , along with tips on dialog , you may have noticed its not my strong points lol. a huge massive thank you to everyone who is sticking with me , im crap at posting the updates , i leave it too far between chapters sometimes , but if i cant think of what to write , i wont fob you off ith a crappy half assed chapter lol , and of course , thank you to everyone who has already reviewed and hit the fav/follow buttons :D **


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